


Long and Winding Road

by Daretodream66



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Artist Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner Feels, Bruce Banner Is a Good Bro, Bruce Banner fishing, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky Barnes owes an apology, Bucky Barnes rescue, Captain America Bucky Barnes, Clint Barton Angst, Clint Barton Feels, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Ex-Captain America Steve Rogers, F/M, Falling In Love, Finding A New Life, Found Family, Friendship, M/M, Post-Endgame, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers doesn't go back to be with Peggy, Steve Rogers plays guitar, Steve Rogers pretending to fish, Tags Are Hard, Teacher Bruce Banner, Teacher Clint Barton, Teacher Steve Rogers, a big one, fiji, lots of pain, recovering Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-25 18:07:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30093051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daretodream66/pseuds/Daretodream66
Summary: After Thanos, Steve walks away and finds a new life.  Before long Bruce finds him, then Clint.  Leaving was the only way to heal a broken heart and Bucky stomped all over Steve's heart.  They find each other again though.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov/Bruce Banner
Comments: 17
Kudos: 57





	Long and Winding Road

Steve looks across the devastation caused by a long, hard war. Thanos had destroyed so much, but the Avengers, old and new, had stayed the course. The world will recover, but Steve never will. He has always been one for dramatics; however, this is different, this really is the end of everything he’s always known and understood. 

He’s no longer Captain America. It’s not that the moniker matters so much, but for a long while, longer that Steve is willing to admit, that’s how he’s defined himself. Now the shield will be passed to someone more worthy than he ever was. The Avengers are returning to the states and Steve will go back to wandering, just a nameless, faceless person in the crowd.

He stays in Wakanda just long enough to let his physical wounds heal, then he’ll walk away and won’t look back. It isn’t until he boards the ship in South Africa, that he thinks the one thing that is the final nail in his coffin: _ now I have to let him go. _

When he leaves the ship in Sri Lanka, he’s greeted by one of  T’Challa’s spies. He’s an older man, unassuming and intelligent. His smile is wide and he hands over money and a new passport. “You will remain here for several weeks before we have you on another ship.” Steve nods his thanks and walks away. That night the spy contacts his King. “This man, he is not well.”

“Tell me.”  T’Challa isn’t expecting a call like this. It’s disturbing to say the least.

“He is a ghost. His eyes are  hallow and his heart is barred. What, if I may ask, has happened to him?”

The King of Wakanda sighs and looks too sad for someone that led an army to victory. “His heart, like our war, had  devastation even in victory.”

The older man nods his understanding. “He will not recover from this quickly.”

T’Challa looks at the ground, troubled beyond words. “He will never recover from this, I fear.”

Steve continues to board ships and leaves Wakanda behind. It isn’t until he disembarks in Fiji that he decides his journey is over. It’s beautiful and small. It has bright, sunny days and cool nights and no one that knows who he is. He remains on a remote corner, a mile or so from the village of the island he settles on and keeps to himself. Try as he might, letting go is not as easy as he’d hoped. He doesn’t miss the shield, as he feared, and only misses his friends somewhat. Grief sometimes muddles other emotions. He knows they had all gone back to their lives and are happy, he’s the one that changed. Well, not so much changed, but more resigned himself to what is and what will never be.

After the war, he’d confessed his feelings, finally, after nearly a century of carrying them, only to have them thrown back at him. Not only  were the feelings unwelcome, the friendship had ended in that moment as well. So many illnesses, that could have killed him as a child, and words had been his death. Steve isn’t numb, he’d thought that until Taiwan. That’s where he realized that he wasn’t numb, but in shock. But shock only lasts so long until it gives way to grief. 

That’s where he was now, grieving for something that never was.

As the weeks bleed into months, Steve watches his small world go by. He paints, using natural pigments instead of the  store-bought products he’s used to. One of the local women, older and graying at the temples, comes to see him once a week. She brings local produce and fish, sitting for a time with him, talking of the good ole days. She is technically younger than Steve, she knows who he is, but has never asked and enjoys his stories of the depression era in New York. They laugh at the technology and she regales him of her grandchildren that believe they will die without their cell phones. Parts of the island have WIFI and she lives in one of those towns. She confesses that she likes Steve’s corner of the island better. It is simple.

“I have been visiting you for months, Steven, and you have yet to tell me what brought you here and keeps you here.” Simone is making a fish dish that she promises him will be better than anything he’s ever had.

“You’ve never asked.” He’s come to think of her as a friend, a real friend that doesn’t want anything from him.

“I’m asking now. Why here and why stay?” She hasn’t looked up.

“I ran away and I’m hiding.” It’s true. He knows that he could have gone back to America, but that was out of the question. He knows that he would have been called on to be more than he wants. He can’t do that anymore. “I’m broken and I don’t know that I want to be fixed.”

She stops chopping. “If you are broken, you can be fixed.” She waves a knife at him. “However, I do believe that what broke you is not worth your time or care.”

It’s dangerous territory that she’s stepping into, Steve breathes tightly and pushes on. “He’s worth everything.”

“Ah.” It’s all she says and goes back to the dish.

Months turn into almost two years and Steve loves the life he’s carved for himself. He let Simone talk him into a teaching position at the local school. He teaches art to all grades and has several students that are gifted. He’s also picked up music from one of them. For his birthday the previous year, Simone’s family gave him a guitar. He’s become quite good, playing at night at home. The waves create a nice rhythm for him to follow. 

Everything in him has settled. He understands that his feelings don’t have to be returned for them to be. He doesn’t know that he’s let Bucky go, but at least now he can live with the knowledge that their friendship is over. 

At the time, after the war with Thanos, telling Bucky how he felt seemed so important, now Steve realizes that it simply wasn’t a secret he should have said. Bucky could never have felt the same, it just wasn’t in him to feel that for Steve. Now, Steve sees it for what it is, his love just is and he wishes he could go back, knowing what he knows now and keep it where it belonged, in his heart.

His life is good, until his  two-year anniversary on the island. He knows the sound before he walks out of the school. His students are crowded around him and he shields his eyes from the sun as the  Quinjet lands. He wants more than anything to run and hide in his tiny cottage on the edge of the ocean, but that won’t stop what is about to happen. He’s become Steven here and doesn’t want to let that go. 

The door lowers and instead of seeing the Avengers, he sees Bruce. Bruce Banner is the last person that Steve expects to walk off the ramp. “Bruce?”

Bruce fidgets nervously, taking his glasses off and cleaning them on his shirt and trying to decide whether to put them back on or not. “Steve.” Finally deciding to place them back on his nose, Steve watches the glasses slip back down.

“What are you doing here, Bruce?” Steve is getting annoyed. Bruce seems more nervous than usual and looking around like he’s expecting someone else. Steve checks the sky and looks back at the jet to see if anyone else is coming. 

Bruce shakes his head. “There isn’t anyone else. And I’m not really sure what I’m doing here.”

Steve closes his eyes and sighs. “Let’s get inside.”

They spend the next half hour looking at the  kid's art and chatting in a non-committal way. When Steve is sure that Bruce doesn’t want to be there and perhaps just got lost on his way somewhere else, Dr. Banner turns to him and really looks at him. “We weren’t really friends, were we?”

Steve thinks of different ways to tell the truth, but nothing comes to him. “No, no we weren’t, so that makes me even more curious as to why you are here.”

Bruce sits on a stool in the middle of the room, looking around at the life that Steve’s built for himself. “I don’t want to do it anymore. I want out and didn’t know where else to go.” He looks up at Steve. “You’re the only one that walked away and stayed away. I figured you could help me.” He gives that self-deprecating smile.

Steve huffs out a laugh that’s only half amused. “I can help you as long as they don’t come looking. I…Bruce, I have a life here. I don’t want to have to leave because they come looking.”

Bruce examines him closely for the first time. “You mean you don’t want  _ him _ to come looking.”

Steve just nods. He wants more than anything to ask, but he won’t let himself indulge. He wonders how Bruce seems to know, but doesn’t ask that either. Let the past stay in the past.

It’s been nearly six weeks and no one has come looking. Bruce wiped the jet’s hard drive and they sent it to Wakanda. Their hope is that  T’Challa will figure out what they did, send the jet home to Tony, making it look like Bruce is with the King. After eight weeks they are sure no one is coming. Bruce has started teaching with Steve, the math and science teachers both retired and Bruce is having a wonderful time watching the kids absorb new information.

They sit watching the waves at the cottage, Steve playing guitar and Bruce reading. “You haven’t asked about anyone.” Bruce doesn’t lift his head.

“I don’t need to know.” Steve sits the guitar aside and just stares out at the ocean.

“Why?” Bruce puts the book down and toes at the sand. “I don’t know what happened, but I know it had something to do with…”

Before Bruce can finish Steve stands. “Don’t…just don’t say his name.” Steve leaves Bruce and walks away.

He finds himself at Simone’s home. It’s quiet, but he knows she’s still awake. Quietly his knocks on the door. It opens minutes later and her welcoming smile fades into concern. “Steven, what is wrong?”

“Bruce asked.” She steps aside and lets him enter.

“Tell me.” She’s sitting with him at the table and slides tea across the table to him.

He leans his head on the high-backed chair and stares at the ceiling. He doesn’t want to cry, but fears that it will come to that. “After the war, I told someone that I was in love with him and had been since we were kids. He looked at me like he didn’t know me and…” He chokes for a minute, then gets himself back under control. “what was worse than that, he looked at me like he didn’t want to know me. Then he told me that my feelings were abnormal…th-that I was abnormal.” He doesn’t stop the tears that trail down his face. “I was there for a couple more days, then I left and I haven’t looked back.” He looks at her and she’s crying with him. “I never told anyone that. And I had hoped that Bruce wouldn’t ask.”

She takes his hand. “I am honored that you trust me enough to share that and I hope you know that I do not think your feelings are abnormal.” She squeezes lightly. “And I want to find him and make him pay for your pain.”

Steve breathes out a half-hearted chuckle. “He’s a right to his own feelings.”

“Not at the expense of another’s heart.”

“You know what I started to realize about all of it?” Bruce is grading papers as Steve paints.

“What’s that?” They neither one looks up while carrying on the conversation.

“We were all adrenaline junkies. To a certain extent, none of us wanted to give it up because of the thrill.” He sighs happily at the success of his students. “I finally decided that the high I got from fighting wasn’t really worth the price I had to pay for it.”

Steve stands back and looks at his work. “I would agree with that assessment of our motivations. I think I had an issue with obligation too.” He steps back to the canvas, brush lightly sweeping across the subject.

“What kind of obligation?” Bruce sips from his coffee cup.

“Well, the government gave me this body, I owed it to them to help whenever they asked.” The vibrant red blends into the sunflower gold in the painting.

“That’s bullshit and you know it. You didn’t owe them anything.”

“ Yeah, I know that now.”

“Do you ever think you’ll go back?” They’ve taken up fishing. Bruce, surprisingly, is better at it than Steve.

“No, I don’t have anything to go back to.” Steve has tangled his line again and is trying to straighten out the mess he’s made.

“I can’t see leaving this life behind. You did good here, Steve.” Somewhere along the way, they have become friends. 

“Yeah, it’s pretty incredible just being for a change.” He looks out at the ocean. “I don’t know that I’ve ever done this before.”

Bruce smiles at him. “Actually, I’m not sure I have either. I loved working in the lab with Tony, as infuriating as he was most of the time, but I can’t say that I was ever relaxed.”

“Do you think you’ll ever go back?” Steve casts again, having untangled the line.

“And give all this up?  Hell no! Not gonna happen, Steve.” They chuckle and keep fishing.

“How did you find me?” It’s been almost a year since Bruce showed up on the island.

“I tracked you as far as Sri Lanka. When I got off the jet, a man came to me, told me that I had missed you by many months, but he could point me in the right direction.” He furrows his brow. “I still don’t know how he knew I was looking for you, but I’m betting that T’Challa had something to do with that.”

Steve nods. “Probably so.”

“I guess they thought someone would eventually come looking.”

Steve hums, but doesn’t volunteer any words.  T’Challa probably thought it would be Bucky coming to look, but he doesn’t voice that idea.

For two more years Steve and Bruce live and work together. They never get in each other’s way and respect that there are things that the other won’t talk too much about. On Steve’s birthday, Simone throws a party like she does every year. That evening, after gifts and cake, Bruce heads home and Steve sits with her in the yard. They have been talking about one of his students that’s been accepted to the Conservatory on the mainland, when her phone rings. She runs in to answer and Steve watches the stars start to light the sky. It’s good here. He’s good here.

“It seems that we have a visitor.” She seems amused.

He grins at her. “Friend or family?”

“Neither, it would seem that a man arrived at the hotel at the resort looking for a friend. They told him his friend may be here, so they are sending him in a car.” She’s seated again and doesn’t seem concerned.

Every hair on Steve’s neck stands at attention. He gets to his feet too quickly, making Simone start. “I need to get home. Do you mind if I leave the gifts here until tomorrow?” She shakes her head. Before she can say anything else, he’s out the gate and running for home.

Bruce is wading into the water for his nightly swim when Steve calls him back. He sees the panic and grabs his towel. “Simone got a call. Someone showed up at the resort looking for one of us.” If Steve were still 90 pounds of nothing, he would be having an asthma attack. As it is, he’s sure he’s having a panic attack. Bruce guides him to a chair and they sit.

“Breathe Steve, just breathe.” He rubs soothing circles on Steve’s back, but can tell that he’s thinking exit strategy. “Before you panic and run,  let's just find out who it is. If anything, it may be for me and I can make sure they don’t find you.”

Steve’s trying to be calm, but he’s never been so scared in his life. Okay, maybe once or twice was worse than this, but it’s pretty close. “What if it’s him?”

“Bucky?” At the name, Steve winces, but nods. “Then we’ll deal with that if it happens. It might not be though and if it is, wouldn’t that be good? It may mean he wants to reconnect.”

The chuckle that comes out of Steve is filled with self-loathing and disbelief. “Trust me, that isn’t what it would be about. He could never forgive me.”

Bruce closes his eyes and breathes deeply. “Steve, maybe if I knew what happened, I could deflect him. If it is him.”

Steve takes a deep breath, looks at his friend and lets the tears gather in his eyes. “okay.” It’s a small and helpless sound. He sits back in the chair. “I fell in love with him when we were kids. I knew what I was feeling wasn’t considered normal, so I pushed it down and got into more fights. I was trying so hard to be anything other than what I was.”

Bruce looks confused. “What you were?”

“A queer.” The word has such malice attached to it that Bruce flinches. “After Thanos, I told him how I felt about him, how I’d always felt.” The tears start and he just lets them fall. It’s been such a long time since he’s let himself really think about it, let himself feel it again. Not only has he worked hard to not think of Bucky, but he’s made damn sure he didn’t let himself feel. “He told me that my feelings were unnatural and he couldn’t look at me the same way again.”

Bruce gets up and starts pacing. “Jesus fucking Christ Steve, what the hell kind of friend does that?” Bruce balls his fists, clenching and unclenching. Steve sees the early warning signs and gets up.

“Bruce…Bruce you have to get a handle on this. It’s your turn to breathe, buddy.” Before Steve can get himself completely under control and say anything else calming, Hulk is standing in front of him. “Hulk buddy, you…you…just don’t smash.”

Hulk looks at Steve, angrily, then huffs a laugh. “Hulk not smash.” A big, green arm is thrown over Steve’s shoulder and he’s pulled into a tight hug. “Hulk protect Steven from asshole.”

Steve laughs despite the awkward situation. “Thanks buddy.”

It’s after 3 and Steve is still up. Bruce went in, after Hulk let him back in control, and went to sleep. Steve watches the ocean and waits. The man, whoever it may be, will stop in town, he’ll be directed here and Steve’s little piece of heaven will be taken away from him. It’s not that he’ll have to leave, no one can make him leave, but the illusion will be gone and he’ll have to rebuild it. It’s nearly 5 when he hears the car. Bruce got up not long ago and made coffee. When the car door slams shut, they look at each other expectantly. “Here we go.”

What they are neither one expecting is to see Clint striding towards them. “You two are hard to find.” He sees the coffee cups. “Got anymore of that?” Bruce gets him a cup and Clint sits on the edge of the porch looking out at the water. “That is one hell of a view.” He sips the coffee, humming his approval.

“What are you doing here, Clint?” Steve’s on edge. Bruce can see it and Clint can feel the unease rolling off of him.

“Relax Steve, no one knows I’m here. I just needed to get away for a little while and make sure you were okay. Didn’t know Bruce was here too.” He closes his eyes over the steam of the cup and savors the coffee.

A week later, Clint has taken to sleeping in the hammock outside at night, Steve and Bruce go about their lives and everyone seems to be easing into a tentative routine. Clint hasn’t really discussed what really brought him here and Steve isn’t sure he should ask. Part of him wants to because he knows that Clint and Bruce have talked. Late at night, when Steve can’t sleep, he paints and listens to the lull of their voices on the porch. If he concentrated, he could hear what they were saying, but he isn’t ready for that. When he is, he’ll ask.

Simone came the day before, with fruits, vegetables and fish and stayed to enjoy the company. Steve knows she can feel his unrest, but doesn’t make a scene about it. Clint wins her over immediately when he takes the groceries and makes them all lunch. “You keep these two supplied so they don’t starve.” 

Bruce chuckles. “I’ll have you know that we can fish for ourselves just fine.”

Steve barks a laugh. “You fish just fine, I tangle myself up and confuse the fish so you can catch them.”

After the laughing stops, the lunch is eaten and Simone goes home, Clint looks at the two men. “You two are okay.”

It isn’t really a question, but they treat it as one. “Yeah, we are. We teach at the local school and…just live.”

Clint nods his understanding and goes for a swim. Bruce watches Steve, looking after him. “You okay?”

Without taking his eyes off Clint’s form in the water. “Yeah, I’m okay. I know he’s here for a different reason than he gave, but I’m okay.”

Bruce heads into the house. “Maybe you should talk to him. I know you know he and I have already talked.”

Steve doesn’t respond, just starts walking down the beach. He hears Clint coming not long after. “Hey Steve, you okay?”

Steve pauses and lets him catch up. “Yeah man, I’m okay. Just wanted to clear my head.” It’s been a week and Steve knows he needs to stop being a chicken. “Clint, why are you really here?”

The air is suddenly heavy.

They’ve been sitting for nearly half an hour before Clint finally breaks the silence. “It’s fucking beautiful here. I wish I could stay.”

“If I had a family like yours, I would never leave them.” Clint hangs his head. Steve knows, he just knows. “Oh god, Clint…”

Clint shakes his head and holds up a hand to stop Steve’s words. “Don’t.” Steve doesn’t push, he just waits. After a time, Clint has himself centered again. “I’d like to only have to say all of this to you once. I’ve talked to Bruce already, but after this, I don’t want to talk about it again.” Steve nods. “About three years after you left there was an attack. We aren’t sure where they came from and I don’t really care. I guess they thought we would be weak after Thanos. There were some stragglers for a little while, but we hunted them down and…well after I found out what they’d done, I killed the last of them myself. SHIELD wanted one to study, but I wasn’t going to let one live when they’d taken everything I had.” He’s shaking and his voice breaks every now and then. “Cap understood and kept SHIELD at bay, but finally I just walked away.” Steve clinches his eyes shut at the mention of Bucky, but doesn’t stop Clint. “See they were the reason I did this shit. It was always to keep them safe. Without them I didn’t have a reason to keep doing it. I isolated myself at the farm or what was left of it. Nat tried to draw me out. Hell, even Tony came and tried, but I just couldn’t…you know.” Steve did know. He understands better than anyone. “So, I started looking for you. I figured you had the right idea. If they can’t find you, they can’t make you do anything you don’t want. They can’t make you feel obligated.”

“Then why don’t you stay. The house isn’t big, but it’s big enough. Stay with me and Bruce. Don’t go back.” And Steve means it. There’s always room with him for someone that has nothing left to go back to.

He puts his hand on Clint’s shoulder and squeezes. “You’re a good man, Steve, and if you don’t mind, I think I will stay.” They sit for a long time, just staring at the water.

Steve’s sigh is the first indicator that he’s going to break the silence. “You haven’t asked.”

“I figured if you wanted to talk about it, you would, but you should know…” He looks at Steve. “…and I’m sorry for this, but that day in Wakanda, I heard what happened. I heard what he said to you and it made it real hard to follow him, but I did because of you.”

Steve looks at him confused. “I don’t understand why I effected that decision.”

“It’s simple, because I overheard your conversation, I know you’d want him protected no matter what his feelings were, so I followed him to watch his back for you.” With that, Clint gets up and walks back to the house. It never occurred to Steve that he’d had friends, true friends. He decides it’s always the quiet ones that you have to watch out for.

Five months later the three men have a quiet co-habitation going on. Steve and Bruce continue working and Clint stays at the house cooking, cleaning and teaching some of the  kids survival skills. And if they suddenly become interested in bows and arrows, well no one really questions that. It’s near Christmas and Clint has decorated the house and the porch with lights. Cookies and cakes start appearing daily. Steve takes some to school and shares with his classes, while Bruce hoards his favorites and refuses to let Steve near them. Clint smiles more. He’d almost forgotten what it’s like to care for people, but Steve and Bruce remind him. He puts out stockings for each of them and includes ones for the family he doesn’t have anymore, but honors next to the family he found. 

Christmas comes and goes with exchanging of gifts and more food than they can eat in one sitting and that’s saying something with Steve’s metabolism. New Year’s Eve, they fish on the beach and Clint and Bruce laugh when Steve’s line tangles just like every time. That night they sit on the beach and toast to the New Year and good friends. 

Not having Bucky in his life hurts every day, but this life has given him more than he could have hoped for. Bruce goes off to bed, citing old age and a steadfast grumpiness. Steve and Clint laugh and tease him. “You just want to go read.”

He waves them off calling, “Yeah, Yeah, you two just want to get drunk.”

Clint lays back on the sand and sips his beer through a straw. “You know, that’s the wrong way to drink beer.”

He grins around the straw and looks up at Steve. “It’s the right way if you’re too drunk to sit up.”

“I’m going to have to carry your ass to bed, aren’t I?” Steve smirks.

Clint burst out laughing. “Watch it there, Rogers, I might get the wrong idea.” He takes another sip. “And I don’t put out on the first date, man.”

Steve swipes the bottle making Clint squawk. “Okay, now I know you’ve had too much. Off to bed with you, young man.”

Clint laughs even harder. “You would make a great  dad; you have the voice down and everything.”

“I always thought you’d make a great dad too, Stevie.” The voice comes from the dark, but Steve would have known it anywhere.

Clint seems a lot less drunk now and jumps to his feet, putting himself between Cap and Steve. “BRUCE! Red alert!”

Hulk comes barreling out of the house, putting himself in front of Steve, but behind Clint. With an arm wrapped behind him, keeping Steve in place he grits his teeth in a frightening parody of a smile. “Hulk smash.”

Panic attacks are a funny thing. Not funny ‘ha  ha ’, but funny in that a person knows what may cause them, but never knows from time to time whether or not it will actually happen. Asthma attacks are the same and Steve uses that knowledge as a benchmark for what is happening now. Chest tight – check; vision blurring – check; feeling of world collapsing and need to withdraw – check and check. So, this is what a major panic attack feels like, Steve doesn’t like it at all, but is powerless to do anything about it. 

It’s Bucky that notices and starts forward to help, like he did in the old days, but Hulk has him on the ground before he can take the second step and Clint is the one that goes to Steve. Kneeling down, he pulls his friend into his arms and starts to whisper nonsense into his ear, rocking him back and forth.

“Hulk, water.” Clint sounds panicked now too.

Hulk points at Bucky lying on the ground. “Asshole stay down.” Bucky nods and Hulk goes towards the house. Bruce comes back a minute later with water and kneels next to his friends. Bucky is still on the ground, but propped up on his elbows to see. Bruce glares at him. “I’ll bring the big guy out again if you make any move to hurt him. And this time, smashing will be the least of your worries.”

Bucky sits up. Clint is helping Steve drink the water, slowly and still whispering in his ear. The whole scene makes something in Bucky angry. The bond between them seems affectionate and a little too close for Bucky’s liking. “So, what is this?” He’s indicating the three of them.

“What the fuck do you care?” Bruce is mild mannered  and, in most ways, timid, but his bond to these other two broken men is not something that falls in the category of timid.

Clint looks up and assesses Bucky. “You gave up the right to ask anything of him when you said he and his feelings were unnatural.” Clint spent several years following Bucky as Cap and even respected his ability to lead and overcome his own demons, but now that he knows the real Steve, not the icon, but the guy, he can honestly say that he’d follow Steve to the end of the universe and back again.

Bucky flinches at his words and doesn’t try to speak again. Bruce sits next to his friends and stares at Bucky. “Why?” Bucky cocks his head to the side. “Why come here? If you knew where he was, why didn’t you just stay away? He’s been doing so well these past years and you come here and ruin his hard work.” It’s the most that Bucky has ever heard Bruce speak that wasn’t science jargon.

“I didn’t mean what I said.” Bucky’s voice is weak, but he stands.

Steve is on his feet with fury in his eyes. “Don’t you fucking try that!” He stalks towards his former best friend. “You meant every goddamn word. I knew you better than your own family, James, and you meant every fucking word.” The punch he throws makes contact with Bucky’s jaw, he lands six feet away. Bruce and Clint realize that Steve didn’t use full strength. Steve storms off calling over his shoulder. “Make sure he’s gone when I get back.”

They watch Steve disappear down the beach. “We should go after him.” Both Clint and Bruce look at Bucky disbelieving. “He could do something stupid.”

Clint starts to laugh, but it lacks humor. “And yet again, you’d be the cause of it.” He never voiced anything in the three years he followed Cap, but something snaps. “You had a chance. You had someone that was willing and did go against the entire world for you. You had someone that loved you without conditions. You had someone that knew everything about you and still wanted you more than that damn shield. You had everything in the palm of your hand and you threw him away.” He pushes passed Bruce and goes in the same direction Steve went. “You don’t deserve him and in my way of thinking, never did.”

Bucky watches Clint go and looks at Bruce. “I guess you want me to leave.”

Bruce doesn’t look up from the ground and his voice comes out shy. “All three of us lost something. You could say that for Steve it was you, for Clint is was his family, and I lost my,” He pauses, “…but the truth is, we all lost ourselves.” He looks up at Bucky and gives a pathetic smile. “When we came here, we were lost and broken. We found each other and a sense of family that we hadn’t had in  awhile .” Bucky looks like he wants to say something, but Bruce stops him. “When I got here Steve let me stay, he gave me a home and purpose. We hadn’t been friends before, but now it’s more than that. When Clint got here, we were ready to run, but he was just as lost as we’d been.” He wrings his hands thinking he’s saying too much, but pushes forward. “We gave him a place to call home and people to call family. Now, we are the only family we have. You broke him. We put him back together. We can’t let you do that again. He won’t make it through it again.” Bruce heads in the same direction as Steve and Clint, pausing and turning back. “This is family. You threw it away, we picked it up and cherish it.” He turns back to continue his walk. 

They return to the house the following day. It’s early evening. They spent most of the night and day sitting in silence a few miles from home. No one spoke, no one moved, they just sat with each other. As the sun started coming up, Steve had reached to either side, taking the hand of the other men. They just held onto each other, knowing that they would be okay as  long as they were together. 

It isn’t until they return home that Steve finally speaks. “Should we leave? Find someplace safe.”

Clint and Bruce look at each other, then Clint shakes his head. “Fuck no. This is our home. Anyone else comes, we’ll make them leave too.”

They sleep until the following morning. When Bruce gets up, Clint is swimming and Steve’s gone for a run. He notices the letter sitting on Steve’s bedside table. It’s been opened and as much as he wants to protect his friend and read it, he doesn’t. Sitting on the porch, he’s joined by Clint and hands him the second cup of coffee he fixed and brought out. Clint smiles at the cup. 

“Did you see the letter?” Clint just nods. “Is it from him?”

Clint shrugs his shoulders. “I’m assuming so. Steve was reading it when I got up this morning.”

“Did he say anything?”

“Nope, just put it away and went for a run.”

“That can’t be good.”

“Nope.”

Steve returns a couple of hours later. He sits on the porch with water and watches the two men watch him. He knows they want to ask, but aren’t going to cross any lines that Steve isn’t ready to cross with them. After fifteen or twenty minutes he’s had enough. “Yes, the letter is from him. Yes, that’s why I ran so long and no, I’m not okay, but I will be.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Bruce slides into the seat next to Steve and Clint sits on the railing. 

“No, but I’m not going to stop either of you from reading it either.” They neither one move, just watch him closely. It’s better for them if they don’t read it now. Protecting Steve is the only thing that either of them  think about because when it mattered, he protected them.

“Oh my god! How do you keep doing that?” Clint watches as Steve twists and turns getting more tangled in the fishing line. Bruce just keeps fishing, sniggering to himself.

“I don’t know!” Steve looks up, hopeless. “Can I get a little help here?”

Clint pulls out his knife and comes over to cut Steve out of the line. “Amazing that you are able to tie your own shoes.”

Steve rolls his eyes. “My shoes don’t have laces anymore.”

“It’s a damn good thing. I’d hate to think what kind of trouble you could get into.” The last of the line is cut and Clint gathers it to throw away.

“Ha ha, you are so funny, Barton.” Bruce yelps and starts reeling in his line. After several minutes of fighting, he pulls in a large fish.

“We have dinner!” Barton and Steve both applauded and Bruce takes a bow.

“It’s a good thing we have Bruce, if we left it to you, we’d all starve.” Clint chuckles at Steve, who just hangs his head, shoulders shaking with laughter.

It’s March and tourist season is upon them. They survived many in the years they’ve been here, but every year they take extra precautions. The last thing they want is for a random picture of them to end up on the internet. So, they go to work and come home. Simone does their shopping for them and the kids usually bring in extra things for them. It isn’t that no one here knew who they were, they just didn’t care. It had become obvious over the years, but during tourist season, they seem to take great care in protecting their adopted islanders. They don’t worry too much because the resort is on the other side of the island, but occasionally, a tourist will rent a car and make their way to their village.

This season isn’t like any other though. For the last two weeks in March the entire resort has been booked for a conference of some kind. One of Simone’s neighbor’s daughters works at the resort and when she calls her mother to send a warning to the men, the two women make their way to the cottage at the edge of the ocean.

Steve sits in the sand, playing his guitar while Bruce and Clint fish. “So, you have given up trying to help in catching dinner?”

Steve looks up, grinning at the women. “It seemed safer for everyone if I sit out these expeditions.”

The women laugh. “We have come with news for you, Steven.”

Looking out at the other two men, they see his weariness from her words, and come out of the water, flopping down in the sand. “What is it?”

Simone and Tally sit with the men. “Tally’s daughter works at the resort, you know this.” They all nod. Simone looks over at her friend and nods.

Tally looks overly concerned for the men. “Nika phoned this morning and the resort has been closed for a conference.”

Bruce shakes his head. “We knew that. What’s the big deal?”

Simone nods at Tally again. “The conference is for the  Sokovia Accords. All 117 country’s representatives and the UN committee will be in attendance.” All three men sit up at that.

Simone adds, “Along with SHIELD presence and the Avengers.”

Bruce and Clint look at Steve. The blond shrugs. “As long as they don’t come here, we’ll be fine and they have no reason to come here, unless he told them where I am.” Tally has no idea who ‘he’ is, but the other three do. Simone puts her hand on Steve’s arm and he takes comfort in the four people that care about him enough to want to protect him from more pain.

A few weeks later, the council meetings are underway. Bruce and Clint come back from town and find Steve sitting on the beach with the letter in hand. This happens on occasion. They will catch him rereading the letter. Neither have read it, they just can’t seem to cross that line. They put the groceries away and join their friend. He’s staring off into the water. “I think I need to see him.”

They both stiffen. “What’s brought this on?”

He holds the letter out and Bruce takes it. It’s being freely handed over  and so he starts reading.

_ Dear Stevie, _

_ I owe you so much, but first and most importantly, I owe you an apology. I am so sorry for what happened after Thanos. I’m sorry for my words. I’m sorry for my actions. I’m sorry for not being the friend you deserved. I’m sorry for ignoring everything we were before and throwing away our friendship. I have an explanation, but I’m not sure it matters anymore. You’ve been gone for years and only because Nat won’t let Clint move without knowing where he is, did I even know where you were. _

_ I didn’t tell anyone the exact location and Nat doesn’t have any reason to tell anyone either. Her knowing the location isn’t about bringing any of you back, it about making sure you stay safe. Please believe me, we won’t put any of you in danger. _

_ What I’m about to tell you does not excuse my actions, but I don’t want you thinking that I would so easily dismiss you and your feelings. When you said what you said, what came out was the conditioning. I spent so many years, back then, hiding what I felt about you. People would make comments about our relationship and to protect you, I would laugh and make a derogatory comment about people like that. I didn’t know until later that what I felt for you was okay, I found myself in a time where it’s okay to have feelings like mine. Once I realized, you were already gone and it was my fault.  _

_ This next part isn’t for you to feel guilty because it just is. Hydra had no use for anyone that was deemed ‘different.’ They’re a lot like those Nazi bastards we fought in the war. Feelings like mine were not allowed and they spent a lot of time killing that part of me. I didn’t even realize I had those feelings until you’d been gone for months. _

_ I followed you to South Africa, but no one knew anything beyond that. Makes me think that Bruce and Clint are much better spies than I was. You three seem close and that’s good. I was afraid that you were alone. I don’t want you to be alone. Truth is I don’t want you to be without me. _

_ We built lives for ourselves, I guess. Yours seems better than mine. I carry a shield that never should have been mine. I have friends, but no one gets too close. I don’t really have a life, I have a responsibility. I bet you know what that’s like. _

_ I don’t think you’re unnatural and I don’t think your feelings are either. It’s taken some time, but I have most of my brain back. We, you and me, we lived in a gay neighborhood back then. Didn’t we? Were we closer than friends, Stevie? There are some things that are hazy. Please Steve, even if you don’t still feel that way, I want my friend back. I need him. Didn’t know how much until he was gone. You’ve been gone so long, Steve. _

_ Your Bucky _

There’s silence for a time. “I really don’t want to agree with you Steve, but yeah, you need to see him.”

Steve suspects that  _ he _ is at the conference and after a couple days of recon with Clint, he’s sure. All of the Avengers, some new that he doesn’t recognize, are there, doing security with Fury. “It’s been  awhile since we’ve done this kind of work. I missed working with you, Steve.”

Steve chuckles over the com. “Yeah, wouldn’t want to do it all the time, but it has been fun.” He checks the sights again. “You ready with the equipment?”

“I’m in their com system. As soon as you have eyes on him, I can patch you in.” 

Steve takes a deep breath. “Thanks for this.”

Bruce’s voice is a surprise, still being at school, but it shouldn’t be, he’d never let them do this alone. “You don’t have to thank us. Just stay calm.”

Clint starts to chuckle. “Isn’t that our line?”

Steve laughs. He’s just about to retort to the Hulk joke when he sees Bucky exit the building. Obviously upset by something and waving his arms around. Natasha is watching him amused with her arms folded across her chest. “I’ve got eyes.”

It’s takes a few seconds, but Clint finally tells him it’s a go. He takes a deep breath. “Bucky?” He sees Bucky stop talking abruptly and look around. “Just nod if you can hear me.” He sees Bucky nod and he sees Nat start to pull her gun. Bucky puts a hand on her arm to stop her. “I think we need to talk. Nod if you want that too.” Bucky nods again. Steve closes his eyes for a second and sighs. “I’m going to be at home tonight if you want to come. Bruce promises not to Hulk out on you again.” He sees Bucky smirk. Steve leaves it at that. 

Steve stops at the tree line and looks back. He can see that Bucky is looking for him, he walks into a clearing between the trees. Bucky spots him immediately, Steve gives him a tiny wave, he smiles in return. Clint joins him and Nat’s eyes get wide, she turns away and Steve would swear that she’s fighting tears. “I’ll see you tonight, Buck.”

Steve sits on the beach with his guitar and plays to the rhythm of the ocean. The song is soft and he hums along with the tune. Clint and Bruce wanted to sit with him, but know him well enough to know that he needs the solitude before dealing with all of this. They sit on the porch and watch from a distance. “You think this will turn out okay?”

Bruce looks up and sees two figures coming down the beach. “We’re about to find out.”

One of the figures breaks away from the other and heads towards the house. Clint knows even in the darkness that it’s Nat. He’d know her movements anywhere. She gets to the porch and leans on a nearby tree. “Evening gentlemen.”

“Nat. Interesting to see you.” Clint and Nat had a falling out just before he left. She tried to get him to stay and when he left Clint knew that she was pissed at him. Bruce just keeps drinking his tea watching how tentative Bucky is acting a few feet away from Steve. She sits on the steps of the porch and the three watch Bucky cautiously sit next to Steve on the beach.

Bucky and Steve sit quietly while Steve continues to play. He stops suddenly and lays the guitar down. “I didn’t know you could play.”

“Learned when I got here. Simone and her family gave me that for my birthday that year.” Steve never takes his eyes off the ocean. He knows if he looks at  Bucky, he’ll lose it.

“Simone?” Bucky turns to look at him. “Someone special?”

Steve chuckles. “No, just a friend.” He takes a deep breath and says it. “Couldn’t ever replace you.” Bucky closes his eyes. Steve realizes that at the very least, this will be his closure. “We did live in one of the gay neighborhoods back then. It was because the rent was cheaper. And no, we weren’t anything more than friends. Believe me, I wanted it, but you aren’t queer Buck.” Steve finally looks at him. “I love you. To me you were and are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. I’d do everything over again for you.” He feels embarrassed. “It was always you, never anyone else. Pegs was about covering my ass.” Bucky starts. “She knew and was trying to protect me.”

“Peggy knew you were gay and acted like your girl so no one else would know you were…” He doesn’t finish the sentence, so Steve does it for him.

“In love with you? Yeah.” Steve smiles. For so long it was a hallow space in him, but finally getting to say it, here on this beach, fills the hole a little bit. He knows Bucky will walk away from him, but this time it will be on Steve’s terms.

“What do you want Steve?” Bucky’s still not looking at him. 

“Nothing.” And it’s true, he doesn’t want anything from Bucky anymore. It feels good to know that he can just feel the love and not long for the rest. “Just thought I owed you this conversation since the last time you were here. Just be happy with your life.” He looks back at the house and Nat is watching them like a hawk. “You have Nat, apparently, and you could be happy.”

Bucky starts laughing. “You think Nat and I are…what…together?”

“I mean yeah, you  are, aren’t you? Why else would you bring her along?” Steve huffs a laugh and looks back at the water.

“Because she wouldn’t let me come alone and told me that if you tried anything, she’d be there to protect me.”

“Protect you from me. I’m the last person on the planet that would hurt you.”

“Yeah, I know that, but she thinks you’re still that guy full of piss and vinegar that will punch before thinking.”

“She never really understood me.” All those years and Natasha could never quite see past the persona and to a man that was always in pain.

“Who are  you, Steve?”

“I’m an art teacher with two of the greatest friends on the planet, who loves a guy that can’t love me back. I take runs in the morning and sit by the water at night. I don’t have nightmares anymore and one of these days I’m going to get a dog. I have students that I care about and fighting is the last thing I want to do. I’m what Steve Rogers could have been if they hadn’t handed me the shield.” He smiles because he’s finally found the place he’s been looking for his whole life. The place where he fits.

Bucky leans over, cupping Steve’s cheek gently. Steve’s eyes go wide and he looks panicked. “Hi Steve, my names Bucky and there’s a very strong possibility that I’ve fallen in love with you all over again.” He sees Steve start to break. “Don’t be afraid of me. I swear on everything holy that I will not hurt you again. I will care for you the way you always deserved.” He leans in and nuzzles Steve’s nose with his own. “Please Stevie, let me be the guy you want me to be. It so easy to love you. You’re already every good memory I have. Let me be with you so we can make more.” Steve whimpers and Bucky lightly kisses him. It’s sweet and tender, but for Steve, it’s the end.

Steve leans away, Bucky’s hand still on his face. His lips pull into a thin line and he closes his eyes. Everything in him screams to give in, to let this happen, but after years of coming to terms with his feelings, Steve knows this isn’t going to work. “No.”

He leaves a stunned Bucky sitting in the sand and gets up to walk away. “Why?”

Steve doesn’t turn to face his former friend. “Because we aren’t meant to be and nothing can change that. You should never be what someone else wants, you should always be who you are, not what I want.”

As he makes his way down the beach, Clint and Bruce join him. They each wrap an arm around him and Steve appreciates their comfort more than he’ll ever be able to make them understand.

Bucky and Natasha are gone when they return hours later. Steve retrieves his guitar from the beach and heads in to bed. Bruce and Clint follow him in heading into Steve’s room with him. Curled up in the warmth of true friendship, the three men sleep.

It’s been five years since Steve last saw Bucky and things on the island have changed considerably. Their tiny cottage is now bigger and houses two dogs and a cat, along with the three men. More visitors come to their side of the island looking for the local experience, so there’s a hotel now. It’s nothing like the resort, but it has one of the best restaurants on the island because Simone and Tally run the kitchen. Steve has started making trips to the mainland because more of his students have ended up at the Conservatory. Visiting them three times a year has become a highlight for the art teacher.

Clint has started a school for survival and skills training and local law enforcement for the cluster of islands started sending all of their recruits there to learn from the former Avenger. Bruce now runs the school, but still teaches some of the upper-level science classes and a many of his students have been accepted to universities around the world. The community and village have grown, just like the three men that came here with nothing.

Steve exits the hanger where he houses the jet that brought Clint to the island all those years ago and grins at Nazil, hugging the young man, he pulls back appreciating how he’s grown. “You look good, kid.”

Nazil snorts. “Will you ever stop calling me kid?”

“Not  gonna happen.” He puts an arm around Nazil’s shoulder and they exit the hanger to a waiting car. Making himself comfortable in the passenger seat, Steve looks over at the young man driving. “I’m proud of you.”

He can tell Nazil is blushing and nudges his shoulder. “If not for you, I wouldn’t be here.” They’re silent for a little while. “It should be you having a show.”

Steve doesn’t answer right away, thinking about how he feels about that. “There was a time, a long time ago, that I thought I wanted to be a famous artist, but fame isn’t for me. I had that, in a different way, but I was in the spotlight. I didn’t like it.” He nudges the young man’s shoulder again. “I like seeing it on you better.”

They have a quiet dinner that night and the following day, Nazil shows Steve around the city. He takes plenty of pictures to show Bruce and Clint when he gets home. His phone buzzes, pulling it out, he sees that Clint’s sent him a picture of the animals. Steve finally adopted a dog, but ended up bringing home two and the cat. Each of the furry babies has picked their person and sleeps with their respective dads at night. This is a picture of the dogs, Chester and Felix, in the hammock and the cat, Gatsby, curled up on top of them. All three sleeping peacefully. Smiling at his phone, Steve tucks it away and looks up at his young friend.

They grab food from a street cart and eat as they walk. “Steve, can I ask you something personal?” Steve nods having just taken a big bite of food. “Are you and Bruce and Clint together?”

Steve swallows and then starts to cough. Nazil pats his back, helping Steve to regain his breath. “What...why...that’s...”

“I don’t have an issue with it, I’ve just always been curious. You three are very close and...” He seems embarrassed and Steve just chuckles.

“No, we aren’t in a relationship.” Nazil nods and they keep walking, but Steve can tell there’s more to this situation than just that. “Why did you ask?”

He gets a non-committal shrug. “I just thought that if you were in a  _ different _ kind of relationship, you might understand.”

Steve puts a hand on his shoulder and stops their walk. “Might understand what, Nazil?”

There’s a squaring of the shoulders that Steve recognizes all too well and the young artist clears his throat. “I’m gay and there’s someone that I’ve been seeing...seriously...and I want to get married, but I don’t know if my mother will accept that about me.”

Looking down at the ground, Steve sighs. “I’m gay too and she’s never treated me with anything but respect and friendship. I’m just her friend. You’re her son. I think she’d want you to be happy.”

There’s a look of such gratitude from his friend that Steve can’t help but smile. “Thank you.”

This is the first time that Steve’s made a trip to see one of his former students who has made a name for himself in the art world. Steve doesn’t think it’ll be the last. When he walks into the gallery, he’s blown away by Nazil’s work. It’s expressive and passionate with bright, vivid colors that shouldn’t work together, but do. Steve takes the offered wine, even though he’s not much of a fan and makes his way around the instillation. Nazil sees him come in, but is talking with a couple that seem interested in one of the larger pieces.

Steve stops in his tracks when he sees one piece in particular. The use of color and light give it a very impressionistic quality, but it’s the subject, half in shadow and half in light that holds him captive. The subject is Steve. It’s an ordinary scene of his classroom, his arm outstretched, pointing to another piece of artwork, one that Steve had done. It was so long ago, but Steve remembers it well.

The voice next to him, startles the super soldier. “That was the day I knew that I wanted to do this for a living.”

Nazil smiles when Steve turns to him, teary-eyed. “I can’t believe you even remember this.”

“I was so enamored by your art. I could not believe that someone that used to be Captain America could have that talent hidden.” Steve pulls the young man into a hug. “You gave me a life that I could not have dreamed of otherwise. Thank you.”

Steve sniffles and holds the man tighter. “No, thank you for letting me be part of this.”

Steve heads back home a few days later, hugging the young man again. As he starts to head up the ramp to the jet, Nazil calls out to him. Turning, he sees that little boy he met so long ago. “Steve, you should let yourself love someone. You deserve everything that shield didn’t allow you to have.”

He thinks about those words all the way back home. He doesn’t regret anything he’s done in his life, except letting Bucky fall from that train. He doesn’t regret telling Bucky no five years ago. Steve also knows that he still loves the man and always will. That’s why he’s never pursued anything romantic because it would be unfair to anyone that Steve accepted into his life. All three of them make a point not to check on the Avengers. That is part of a life that they don’t belong to anymore. What they have now is good. Really good.

When he returns home that evening, he finds Clint and Bruce fishing. “Should I grab my pole and join you?”

Both men turn, grinning. “Steve!” It’s said in unison and they come out of the water to hug their friend. 

Bruce pats his back. “And you should sit and play your guitar. It’s safer for everyone.”

Going in to change, he grabs the instrument and heads back out. Clint turns from the sand bar that he’s standing on. “Play something happy. Something that will make the fish dance.”

Steve strums the guitar and looks over at Bruce. “You let him drink, didn’t you?”

Bruce winks. “I let us both drink.”

Steve shakes his head, chuckling. “I’m going to have to save both of you from drowning.”

As the fish cooks over the firepit, Steve shows them all the pictures that he took. When he gets to one that he took on the street the day that Nazil was showing him around, Clint grabs the phone, zooming in on the background. “Uh...Steve...”

Turning the  phone, he shows the other two men what he sees. Steve grabs it, zooming in even more. “Is that Nat?”

Bruce takes it. “Yeah, that’s Nat. Is she following you?”

The voice from the dark makes them all jump. “Yes, I was.”

Bruce shifts and Hulk stands in front of the two men. Steve comes around his big, green friend with a hand on his forearm. “Relax, Hulk. Let’s see what she wants before we smash.”

Natasha takes a defensive stance against her former friend, not quite understanding how Bruce just shifted into Hulk and no damage has been done. “I didn’t come to fight. I just came to check in.” She steps closer and Hulk rumbles. “Really, Big Guy. I’m not here for any other reason than to do my regular  six-month  checkup .”

Clint narrows his eyes. “What the hell does that mean?”

She sighs and sits on the steps of the porch. “It means that for the last five years, every six months, I come and check to make sure you three are okay.”

Steve sits back down in the sand and Hulk shifts back into Bruce and joins him. Clint is less trusting in the situation, so he keeps moving. “Why?” Steve doesn’t like it, but he should have expected it. But now he needs to understand the reasoning behind her invasion.

“Because Cap insisted.” She glares at Steve, but it has no effect. “He didn’t want anything happening to any of you, especially you.” She nods towards Steve. “He won’t come himself because...well, you know why, so he sends me. We still haven’t told anyone about you.”

“You expect us to believe that you’ve just been coming here to make sure we’re okay and haven’t informed Fury or the Accords Council about our whereabouts?” Clint doesn’t trust this situation because it doesn’t seem like Natasha. She’s always been a spy first and a person second and getting to know that person is next to impossible, even for him.

“It doesn’t matter if you believe me or not. It just is.” She looks tired and Steve recognizes it.

“What’s really going on, Nat?” She looks over at him again and the half shrug she gives is all that they get for a few silent minutes.

“The Accords died about two years ago. There was a situation in France and the UN Accords Council wouldn’t let us go help. The French President died because of it and the Council came under fire. It was decided that having the Avengers under the thumb of bureaucrats wasn’t the best move. During renegotiations, things fell apart and the Accords were struck down.” Bruce starts to speak, but Steve puts a hand on his arm to stop him. “For all of us except one, that meant we could do what we do best, but for Cap it wasn’t.”

Now Steve’s interested. “What do you mean?”

“See, Cap didn’t sign the Accords, he was doing what he was doing because of everything he did while he was the Winter Soldier. A penance, if you will, but when the Accords went away, he had to start taking orders from the World Security Council instead. They decided that he hadn’t paid his dues enough and had to keep working for them.” It could be the firelight, but Steve is convinced that she’s misty eyed. “They’re never going to let him go and now he’s just someone else’s Asset.”

Steve stands at that and he doesn’t try to cover his fury at any of what he’s just heard. “You better not be fucking with me, Natasha! If this is some kind of manipulation...”

“Steve, I wouldn’t lie about something this serious.”

Bruce stands and Clint comes over. “What do you want to do, Steve?”

“I can’t and won’t ask either of you to go, but I’m getting him out of there.” Natasha nods.

Clint rolls his eyes. “If you think we’re going to let you go in alone to do something like this, you don’t understand family very well.”

Bruce nods. “When do we leave?”

It takes a week to get everything together. Natasha brought upgrades for the jet that Clint stores on the island and they walk through the plan over and over. The Compound has become home to many, too many, SHIELD agents and Natasha can’t prove it, but she knows that some are there to keep eyes on Cap at all times. They even have field agents that go on the missions with the Avengers and she’s sure that’s their job.

As they take off from the island, Steve left instructions with Simone to make sure the cottage is taken care of and she’s got the animals at her house until they return. The plan is simple, but it does involve everyone using skills they haven’t had to use in years, over a decade. Natasha assures them that the last thing anyone will be expecting is for the former Captain America, Hawkeye, and Hulk to show up at the Compound. Surprise, in this case, is their friend.

Getting Steve into the Compound isn’t the issue. The issue will be getting Bucky to come with him and get out of the Compound. That’s where Clint and Bruce come in. The distraction is going to be big. Natasha gets Steve passed the security at the far end of the property and he follows her instructions on where Bucky’s quarters are. Nat also made sure, before she left, that Steve’s bio-scan is still in FRIDAY.

When he enters the building on the lower level, FRIDAY welcomes him as though he never left. He calls for Privacy Protocols on his whereabouts and destination. “FRIDAY, this is an Alpha Lock Situation.”

‘Alpha Lock initiated, Captain.’

He takes the stairs up to Bucky’s quarters and knows this is when his part of the mission could go very bad. The door slides open when Steve inputs Natasha’s code. As he eases into the dark apartment, he listens and hears deep, even breathing from the bedroom. Easing through the living room and down the hallway, he stops to make sure that Bucky is still sleeping and isn’t going to attack him in the dark. Kneeling next to the bed, he looks at the scruff on Bucky’s face and sees the gray peppered into the dark, course hair. His former best friend has aged too much since the last time Steve saw him.

Reaching up, he takes a minute and just wants to touch, but his wrist is caught in a vice grip. “Who the hell are you?”

“Buck, it’s me. It’s Steve.” The hand  releases him immediately and Steve stands.

“What the hell are you doing here, Steve?” Bucky sits up, but doesn’t call for lights.

“I’ve come to take you home.” 

Bucky doesn’t even ask questions, just jumps from the bed. “What’s the plan?”

Steve checks the time. “The plan is big and loud.” Looking up, he grins at Bucky. “You’ll know it when it happens and we’ve got to run.”

Steve silently counts off and Bucky just watches him. When Steve mouths ‘one’ there’s an explosion and a roar. They run for the door. “Oh hell! Those two idiots you call boyfriends are here too!”

Steve grabs Bucky’s hand, taking a firm grip and they run. “Not my boyfriends, more like brothers.”

Agents, Avengers, and everyone on duty heads in the opposite direction from where Steve and Bucky are going. Bucky doesn’t stop grinning all the way back to the cloaked jet. Back on board, Steve sits in the pilot seat and starts flipping switches. “You may want to strap in, this isn’t going to be a smooth ride.” 

Steve takes off and heads back towards the Compound proper, swinging the jet around to face off against the agents and Avengers. Firing just close enough to make it look like the intruders are trying to kill everyone, Steve hits the button for the ramp. “What the hell, Steve?”

“Hang on! It’s about to get a lot bumpier.” Hulk leaps up, Clint in his other arm and grabs the bottom of the ramp, causing the jet to wabble around with the added weight hanging from the back. Steve punches it and they take off, landing just long enough for Hulk and Clint to get inside and then taking off again.

Clint comes to the front. “Let me take over. I’m a better pilot and we  gotta get  outta here.”

Steve gets up, helping Bruce into one of the seats and putting a blanket around his shoulders to keep him warm. Kneeling next to him, Steve pulls Bruce’s glasses from the compartment under the seat, offering them over. “Thanks. It’s been  awhile since I’ve done that.”

Steve kisses his temple. “Yeah, Hulk’s become  kinda a pussy cat.”

Bruce chuckles and Clint snorts from the pilot seat. “We’ve got company.”

Steve straps in next to Bucky. He looks over at the blond. “I’m not sure I’m worth all of this, Steve.”

Steve remembers those words so clearly. Looking over at Bucky, he sighs. “You were always worth this.”

Somewhere over the Atlantic, Clint locates a cargo ship and lands the jet atop the storage containers on the main deck, being hauled to god knows where, and powers down the engines, but keeping the jet in stealth mode. “We’re going to ride this for a little while. The ships signature will mask us maybe long enough to keep them from following us home.” It takes five hours for those in pursuit to decide that they lost the jet. They get a signal from Natasha at the top of the seventh hour that the agents in pursuit have been called back. They wait another hour before powering up again and taking off.

With the jet put away, the four men take the car back to their little village, stopping long enough to pick up the dogs and cat, they make their way home. As they exit the car, Bucky looks around at how everything has changed. The dogs run for the ocean, barking just to show their excitement.

“Chester! Felix! Wha...” Steve watches them bound into the ocean, leaping and chasing each other.

Clint claps a hand on his shoulder. “Just let them be. You know they do this all the time.”

Steve hangs his head and Bucky watches as Bruce carries the cat into the house. “This place has changed.”

Steve looks up. “Yeah, we added on about four years ago and then again two years ago. We even have a guest room now, but it was mostly for the dogs and cat.”

Bucky takes a deep breath, like he hasn’t in a long time. “Did you really name one of the dogs after Colonel Phillips?”

Steve snorts. “You should see his grumpy face when he doesn’t get fed on time. He looks a lot like the Colonel.” Bucky laughs, following Steve into the house. They set him up in the guest room, but warn him that he’ll most likely have visitors when the dogs get dry.

For the rest of the day, Bucky just sits on the porch and looks out at the view. He’s startled by a woman coming onto the porch with bags of what appear to be groceries. Jumping up, he goes to help her carry them. “Well now, aren’t you a gentleman.” She searches his face and he blushes under her scrutiny. “You are Captain America.”

They step inside as Bucky answers. “I was up until yesterday. I don’t know who I am now.”

Steve looks up, seeming to contemplate Bucky’s words, but that doesn’t stop him from smiling at Simone and coming to kiss her cheek. “So, the plan worked.” Steve nods. “What now then, Steven?”

“Now, we give him a safe place to call home.” They start to put the groceries away and Bucky keeps silent listening to the two friends talk. Steve doesn’t know what they do now because the plan was just about getting Bucky out of a situation that was nothing more than slavery. Clint comes in from outside with the two dogs, now wet from their rinse off after their romp in the water. Steve holds up a bag with  avocados . “Clint, Simone found you some avocados.”

“Hot damn!” He goes to kiss her cheek. “You are a miracle worker.”

Simone rolls her eyes. “I took them from the restaurant, so you better appreciate my thievery.” She doesn’t stay long after that.

Bucky watches, he doesn’t say much, usually just when he’s asked something directly. The other three men move around each other like they’ve been together for years, and they have, but Steve sees a look of melancholy on his former friend’s face. Looking down at the counter, he shakes his head and within seconds, he has two hands on his back, rubbing soothingly. Bucky still watches the way Steve folds in on himself and Clint and Bruce give support. 

Bruce and Clint take their nightly swim and Steve sits on the beach, playing his guitar. Bucky comes out of the house and sits tentatively a few feet away. They don’t talk for a long time, but the quiet clearing of a throat, has Steve close to pausing. “How long are you going to let me stay?”

That does cause Steve to pause in his playing. “We didn’t go through all of that to throw you out at some point. This is home now, if you want.” Steve voice is quiet and he gives a small smile.

“I’d really like that. The last few years haven’t been easy. It’d be nice to just watch the water for a little while.” Steve starts strumming again.

For nearly two weeks, that’s exactly what Bucky does. He gets up in the morning and sits by the water, just staring out at the waves. Sometimes, unless Steve takes the food out to him, he doesn’t even seem to remember to eat. He gets to witness Steve trying to fish and the other two laughing about the tangled line, but all it brings out in him is a tiny quirk of a lip. Bruce and Clint voice their concern to Steve, who has been cataloguing all of it too.

Steve exits the house one morning and doesn’t see Bucky. Going back in, he finds the guest room door open and still no Bucky. Checking the water to see if the man is swimming, Steve still sees nothing. Bucky has barely talked for two weeks and now he seems to have disappeared. Steve decides that the man is grown and able to take care of himself, so he continues out on his run. He tries desperately not to let it get to him, but Steve’s under no delusions. He paused at the Compound because he’s still in love with the man. He can’t let that dominate his thoughts though. It wouldn’t be good for anyone.

And all of that is fine, until he sprints around an outcrop of rocks and finds Bucky sobbing, alone in an alcove. He doesn’t even think, Steve just sits next to the man, pulls him into a hug, and lets him cry. “Everything is going to be okay. You’re safe now. I’m sorry they did that to you. It’s okay now.” Steve just keeps whispering nonsense into Bucky’s hair, holding him close, and making sure he knows he’s not alone.

It takes time, more time than Steve would have expected for Bucky to pull himself together. Whatever this is, it’s definitely been a long time coming. Sitting next to each other, hips touching, the two men stare out at the ocean. Bucky starts to talk in a low, quiet voice. “I didn’t even realize what was happening at first and by the time I did, I was already in too deep.”

“What did happen? I know what Nat told us, but I want to hear your version.” Steve looks over and is struck again by how much he loves this man. Pushing that aside, he knows it’s not a good place to let his mind go.

“At first it was to wipe out some of the red in my ledger. I did it willingly because I wanted to help. After  awhile , years I guess, I wanted to take a break, just have some down time. They told me that I owed them, that I had a duty to them and the shield. It never stopped and a couple of years ago I told them I wanted out. They actually laughed at that and told me I was in no position to demand anything. That they owned me.” Steve doesn’t think, just puts an arm around his friend, and pulls him close again. “Natasha told me that the only way they would let me go, is if I died.” He gives a huff. “I started thinking that might not be so bad.”

Steve holds on tighter as the magnitude of that statement sinks in. “Don’t ever think that way again.”

As the months pass, Steve, Clint and Bruce go back to their normal routine and Bucky watches how this dynamic works. There’s so much about the three that fascinates the ex-Captain America, but he suspects they are also watching to see if anything unusual happens. There are quiet conversations between them that seem to center around Bucky being found. In the guest room closet is a go-bag that Bucky will use if he has to leave quickly. He won’t put these three men in danger and if someone comes for him, he’ll run and leave them to this life.

Sitting by the ocean, watching the three men fish, he knows that Steve is watching him covertly. He knows the blond wants to ask what’s going on in Bucky’s mind, but he’s been very careful about giving Bucky space to process where he is now. 

“Oh my god! Seriously Steve, for years we’ve been doing this and you never seem to get the hang of it!” Clint is bellowing with laughter and Bruce goes over to Steve, pulling out a knife and cutting away the tangled line.

“I really did think you would get the hang of this.” Steve frowns and Bruce just keeps grinning.

“I’m from Brooklyn! We didn’t fish in Brooklyn!” Bucky can’t help the laughter that comes out of him.

Steve glares over at his friend, but there’s no real malice behind it. “I fished all the time, Steve. This never happened to me.”

“ Shaddup , asshole! You never let me fish because you said I didn’t need to dirty my hands with it!” Bucky just keeps laughing and Clint looks over at him.

“Were you protecting him or the fishing line?” Bruce barks a laugh at Clint.

“Seeing what I am now, I’m going to go with the line.” Steve shoots the finger at him, making everyone laugh again.

The following morning, Bucky joins Steve on his run. They don’t talk, they just run, but Bucky is struck by how much he missed having this with Steve. He missed Steve. They walk the last half mile back to the house and Steve looks over. “You seem to be getting better.”

“Yeah, I didn’t know how good it would feel to be away from all that.” Bucky bends down and picks up a shell. It looks like a fan, but there are pieces missing from the edge. “This place is really amazing.”

Steve nods at the shell. “You  gonna start a collection?”

“It seems fitting.” He looks back at the shell. “It’s still good, even with pieces missing.”

Steve stops in his walking causing Bucky to stop and turn back. “Is that how you see yourself?”

Bucky looks up at the sky, then back at the shell. “Well, yeah, I guess it is.”

“What are you missing?”

The best thing that Bucky could do is lie, but he’s not going to do that to Steve. “You.”

He continues the walk back to the house and leaves Steve standing in the sand. Bucky knows that at some point he’ll have to leave the house where the three men live because he won’t be able to be that close to Steve and not give in to the ache that has lived inside of him since the last time he was here. He didn’t lie to Steve then and he won’t lie now. He loves Steve to the point of feeling like he has a hole in his chest.

As the weeks come and go, Steve doesn’t know what to do with this information. He assumed that after that night so many years ago, that Bucky would have moved on, but it seems that it didn’t happen. But Bucky never acts different around him, teasing along with Clint and Bruce. He doesn’t treat Steve differently and never pushes or asks for anything.

On some mornings Bruce and Clint will come into the kitchen and Steve and Bucky will be fixing breakfast. They move around each other like Bucky’s been with them for years and both men suspect that it’s because of their shared past.

Heading into town later, Clint side-eyes Bruce. They ate breakfast together and watched the way that Bucky looks at Steve when the blond is distracted. “He’s in love with Steve.”

Bruce just keeps walking. “Yep, he is.”

“Do you think we should tell Steve?” Clint bends down to pick up a rock, just to have something to do with his hands. 

“I think Steve already knows.” Clint hums at that. “I’m just curious to see what he does about it.”

“He turned him down once already.” It’s Bruce’s turn to hum.

“Yeah, but that was a while ago. Steve’s a different person than he was five years ago.”

Clint sighs. “It will change what we have.”

“Yeah, but if it makes Steve happy, I think he deserves that.” Clint nods and tosses the rock up the road a  ways . Bruce stops, shaking his head. “I think I’ve become selfish because I like what we have.”

“Yeah man, me too, but this is Steve we’re talking about. He’s not going to throw us out or anything.” Bruce bobs his head. “Plus, he may still feel the same way and not want that with Bucky anymore.”

When Bucky’s been on the island for nearly six months, Steve gets up one morning to run, expecting Bucky to be waiting, but the guest room door is open, the bed is made, and Bucky is nowhere to be seen. Going into the kitchen to get juice, Steve finds a note leaning against the coffee maker.

_ ‘Steve, _

_ Thank you for pulling me out of that life and bringing me here. You saved me whether you know it or not. Tell Bruce and Clint I said thank you too. _

_ I think we both knew that at some point I would have to leave and find my own life. I’m not leaving the island, but living with you, so close every day, is more than I can handle. Not  _ _ gonna _ _ lie to you, Steve. Watching you now, I think I love you more than I ever did before. _

_ Thank you again for giving me this new chance. _

_ Bucky’ _

Steve just stands, leaning on the counter, reading the note over and over. That’s where Clint finds him when he drags in from his morning swim. He hands the note over, letting the archer read it. Bruce comes into the kitchen, grabbing his mug and tea. Clint hands the note over for Bruce to read.

Bruce looks over his glasses at Steve. “I did not see that coming.”

Steve heads for the door and his run. “Yeah, neither did I.”

Later that day, Steve does some checking and finds out that Bucky got a job at the hotel, working in the kitchen with Simone and Tally. The small house behind the hotel has been empty for months when the former sous chef left for the mainland. It’s comforting to know where Bucky is, but it still hurts that he left.

Clint takes it upon himself to go have lunch at the restaurant mid-week when he knows that Steve and Bruce are too busy. He watches the wait staff and for a lull in the lunch crowd. Once it’s just him and another table, he asks his waiter if he can talk to the  sous chef. Bucky comes out to join him, wiping his hands on a towel.

“If there was a problem with the food, I just chop stuff.” Clint snorts and pops Bucky in the arm. “What’s up, man?”

Clint knows what he wants to say, but he isn’t sure how to do it now that he’s faced with the situation. He goes for direct. “Why did you leave and not just tell Steve?”

Bucky sits back in the chair. “Mainly, because being rejected once was enough. Not sure I could have taken it a second time. This way he doesn’t have to say it and I didn’t have to hear it.”

Clint watches how Bucky seems edgy. “You really do love him, huh?”

Leaning forward on the table, Bucky smiles. “After watching you three and how he’s changed so much, yeah, I love him like  nothin I ever thought possible.”

Clapping a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, he gives a gentle squeeze. “Give him time. He’s not sure he trusts himself yet.”

“Why does he need to trust himself?” Bucky feels like he should know these things, but the guy that looks like his best friend from childhood is nothing like that little guy from Brooklyn.

“Because it means letting someone into that part of him again. He closed that off years ago. Let him figure it out. He’ll come around.”

“How can you be so sure?” Bucky stares down at the table  cloth .

“Because I know what love looks like and he still loves you. I mean, hell man, he stormed the Compound for you. Doesn’t seem like something just a friend does.” Clint gets up and leaves after that and Bucky is left looking after him.

He moves about his life, but decides after a couple of weeks that he wants to see Steve, wants to spend time with him, just generally wants to be around him. So, on his first late day of the week, Friday, he gets up early and heads to the cottage by the ocean. From Friday to Monday morning, he doesn’t have to be at the restaurant for the early shift, so he can run with Steve.

When Steve exits the house, Bucky is sitting on the railing on the porch, watching the water. “Buck?”

He turns, smiling. “Hey Steve, I thought, if you don’t mind, that I’d like to run with you again. I mean, I can only do it on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, but if it’s okay, I’d like to.”

Steve soft smile, broadens. “I’d like that too.” They run until the sun is getting high and then Bucky goes back to the house with Steve and shows him some of the things he’s learned from Simone and Tally. Clint and Bruce come out of their rooms, with all three animals following along, sniffing the air.

“I don’t know what it is, and I’m not sure I care, but damn is smells good.” Clint fixes his coffee and Bruce’s tea,  sitting on the stools to watch.

“It’s a good thing I made enough for everyone then.” That causes Clint to clink his mug with Bruce’s in celebration.

Each week, for those three days, they run together and Bucky stays to cook breakfast. Bruce and Clint watch their friend help here and there and how the two men move around each other. They’re very careful not to touch too much, but when Steve is busy with something, they can also see how Bucky watches him.

It’s a normal Friday, they run, Bucky fixes breakfast, then leaves the three men to get ready for their day. They’ve been doing this for nearly a month when Bucky decides to push just a little more. Right before the lunch rush, he fixes two lunches, bagging them gently and gets a wink from Simone. “You  gonna tell him that you cooked that?”

“I’d never take credit for something I didn’t do.” He’s out the back door of the restaurant and on his way to the school with a smile on his face. The two women that he works with are generous to a fault, but also no nonsense in a way that Bucky truly appreciates. He enters the school and goes first to Bruce’s office.

Bruce stands when he sees Bucky. “Well, what brings you here?”

Bucky puts the bag on the desk and pulls out the first container. “I thought you could use some lunch. I brought one for Steve too if it’s okay to interrupt his class.”

Bruce looks over the top of his glasses, grinning. “Finally making a move?”

Shaking his head, Bucky blushes. “No, not yet. I just thought I would come to see him.”

Bruce nods and Bucky heads down the hallway. When he gets to the class, he stays at the door for a few minutes. He knows that lunch is coming up because he made sure he knew Steve’s schedule. One of the kids sees him and motions to Steve. Turning, the blond smiles. “Buck?”

“Hey, I didn’t mean to interrupt, but I brought you some lunch.” The surprise is evident on Steve’s face, but the smile stays.

“Come in. We’re almost done.” Steve turns back to the class and starts talking again about muscle movement and how to create that on the canvas. “If we had a life model, it would be easier to see.”

Bucky takes a deep breath and raises his hand. Steve turns, mischievous grin on his face. “Yes, Mr. Barnes?”

“If you need a model, I could do it.” A few of the students grin and look at Steve expectantly.

Steve is obviously surprised by the offer. “Are you sure?” Bucky nods. “Well guys, it looks like we have ourselves a model for our next class.”

They set the schedule for Bucky modeling for the class and it’s decided that he’ll come in every Thursday and Friday. Steve isn’t expecting to have the reaction that he does. The first class, he sets Bucky up in the center of the room, back to the class, no shirt and sitting on the edge of a stool. The students have their canvases on easels, drawing pencils ready. 

Steve steps up to Bucky, whispering for just him. “I need to touch you. Is that okay?” Bucky looks up, eyes glinting in the natural light coming through the window and gives a minute nod. Steve’s hand lands on his shoulder and he starts moving his other hand down across Bucky’s back. The brunet takes a shaky breath. Steve’s hand freezes, then he keeps moving. “You have to pay attention to how the muscles would move. Keep in mind that what you’re looking at is a living, breathing,  being. When you draw a person, you have to imagine what they would look like in motion.”

Steve goes over to his easel and picks up the pencil waiting there. He starts to do a rough outline of what he sees of his friend. One of the senior girls, comes over. “Mr. Rogers, you aren’t putting detail.”

Steve comes out of his drawing trance. “Oh, no, I’ll add that with the paint. This is just to get the outline.” He turns to the rest of the class. “Start with the lines you see. Adding the motion will come through the paint.” The students start to draw and Steve goes back to his own canvas.

Friday when Bucky comes in, he strips his shirt off and takes the same spot. Today the paints are out and the students are mixing colors. Steve looks at Bucky and  _ sees _ . The scars that mar his skin, the tan from the sun since he came to the island, the black and gold of his metal arm. He sees everything that makes up this Bucky. He’s not the man that Steve knew before the war. He’s not the man that Steve knew during the war. He’s not the man that fought against Thanos. He’s not the man that said words that hurt Steve to his very core.

He’s someone new.

When the class is over, the students file out and Bucky grabs his shirt, putting it back on. “They’re really good kids.”

“They’re my advanced class. A lot of real talent.” Bucky nods and heads to the door. “Buck?”

Bucky turns and Steve seems flushed. “Maybe I could come into the restaurant tonight and have dinner.”

Bucky gives him a soft smile. “Yeah, that would be nice. If you come in around 8:30, I could join you.” He stutters through the next part, unsure of his welcome. I. ..I mean...you know, if you wanted.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’d like that. See you at 8:30.” Bucky heads out the door and when it clicks closed behind him, Steve sits heavily on the stool. “What the hell am I doing?”

When he tells Clint and Bruce later and asks the same question, they both  snigger . “I’d say you talked yourself into a  sorta date, Steve.”

Steve sits on the beach, throwing himself back into the sand. “Again, I ask you both, what the hell am I doing?”

Bruce pats his leg. “You’re testing the waters. Seeing if this is something you might want.”

“I’m an idiot.”

Clint barks a laugh. “That was never up for debate, Steve.”

Bucky feels bad about leaving the kitchen, but when Tally pushes him out the door, he knows it’s really okay. Joining Steve, he recommends certain things on the menu all of which Steve orders. “Do you ever get to do any of the cooking?”

Bucky looks back at the door and sees Simone watching them with a huge grin on her face. “Now and then, they’ll let me try my hand at something. Mostly, I just watch them and learn.”

The first course comes out and Steve inhales. “This smells amazing.”

“That’s one of my favorites too. Don’t fill up on that though, because the fish is even better.” They talk about everything that’s been going on and then talk about Bucky modeling. 

“I think some of the students have a little crush on you.” Bucky snorts and Steve grins around his fork. “I’m serious. You still got the looks, Barnes.”

Folding his arms on the table, Bucky looks up completely serious. “Have you looked in a mirror, Rogers?”

“Yeah, but most of these kids have known me most of their lives. To them I’m just old.” He keeps eating and Bucky watches him. 

“Do you think you’re old?”

Steve half shrugs. “I don’t feel it most days. Sometimes it’s just me feeling tired.”

“Yeah, I get that, but I feel that less and less since I came here.” Steve starts eating again. “Do you paint very much?”

Steve looks up, surprised by the question. “I did when Bruce first came, then it was more about teaching. This exercise with muscle movement is the first time in awhile.”

“Well, then I feel honored that I can help.” Steve blushes and the meal goes on.

It’s added to what the two men do together. Thursday and Friday’s Bucky models for the class. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, they run together and Friday nights, Steve goes to the restaurant for dinner and Bucky always joins him. They have a nice routine. 

Coming up on the summer vacation for the students, Steve finally puts the finishing touches on his painting of Bucky. It’s one of the most intricate pieces that he’s ever done, but more than that, he sees his friend. When they were young and stupid, back before the war, he sketched Bucky often because he was the only life model that was available. Looking at the painting he sees how they’ve both grown into men that no one else bothered to look for.

Bruce steps into Steve classroom at the end of the day and just watches his friend, staring at the painting. “You are very talented, Steve.”

Steve startles at the voice and turns with his brow furrowed. “Thanks.”

“What’s that look for?” Bruce and Clint have noticed how Steve seems to be lost in his own thoughts at times. 

“I...” Steve turns back to the painting and huffs. “I don’t know.”

“You’re thinking about how you see him.” Bruce is a watcher. He’s quiet most of the time, but he watches people around him and in the years that he’s been on the island, he watches Steve. At first it was about making sure Steve was okay, then it was about watching Steve open up in new ways. Now, Bruce sees his friend, his family, struggling with something he wants, but doesn’t think he can have. “Steve, sit down for a minute.” The blond does as his friend asks. “I understand why you left him all those years ago. You had every right to walk away and find a life that filled parts of who you are that everyone, including you, had forgotten about.”

“It wasn’t easy, you know?” Bruce nods and takes a seat on one of the tables.

“I’m very sure it wasn’t from what I saw when I first got here and you’d been here for a little while by then.” Steve looks down at the floor and Bruce takes his glasses off to clean them. “When you turned him down a few years later, I wasn’t sure why.” Steve starts to speak, but Bruce holds up his hands. “I get it now. At the time you didn’t trust him or yourself enough to take what was being offered.” Bruce tilts his head to the side in an almost shrug. “That makes sense too because, let’s be honest, when we are offered the  thing we want the most, it’s hard to trust that. You know, when is the other shoe going to drop,  kinda thing.”

“Yeah, and I don’t really think it would have worked because he was still carrying the shield.” Bruce bobs his head in understanding.

“The difference is, now he’s here, part of this life that we’ve built here. There’s no reason to not allow yourself to have what you want.” He gets up to leave and at the door, Bruce turns back to his friend. “And from what Clint tells me, Bucky’s wanting it too.” With that, he leaves his friend to mull over what he’s said.

Friday morning, Bucky is waiting on the porch for Steve when he comes out for his run. He’s let his hair grow out again and Steve has to admit that it looks really good on him. Freezing in the doorway, Steve just looks. Bucky seems confused by what’s happening. “Steve?”

Without letting himself think too hard about what he’s doing,  Steve crosses the porch, cupping Bucky’s face in his hands. Bucky’s eyes slip closed like the feeling is too much. “Buck.” Leaning in, he captures Bucky’s lips with his own and sighs into the feeling.

Bucky stands, wrapping his arms around the bigger man and lets himself melt into the feelings. For so long he’s wanted to take Steve into his arms, promise him the world, and love him. This is so much more than Bucky was prepared to feel. After so many years, carrying a shield that never should have been his, he’s come home into the only place that ever meant anything worthwhile. Steve lifts his lips away from Bucky’s and kisses across his cheek, to his forehead. “Steve, you  gotta tell me what this means, cause I don’t  wanna say or do anything that’s going to ruin this.”

Steve kisses his forehead again. “This is me, telling you that I love you and never stopped. This is me, asking for a chance.”

There’s a quiet whimper and Bucky leans in to kiss Steve again. “Yes, please. I love you so damn much.”

Steve takes his hand, pulling him back into the house. “Let’s skip the run this morning.”

“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.”

Clint’s sitting on the kitchen counter when they come out of Steve’s room. He scowls over his mug at the two men, who try very hard to look apologetic. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy you two got your heads out of your asses, but jesus christ on a cracker, you two are loud!”

Bruce comes in from his morning swim, toweling his hair. “I was going to skip my swim this morning, but when I woke up, it seemed that getting out of the house was for the best.”

Steve blushes furiously and Bucky bites his bottom lip and looks down at the floor. “Sorry.”

Clint comes over, hugging them both. “We’re going to need to sound proof your room, Steve.”

Construction starts on the house a few weeks later when the four men sit down to figure out what changes they want to make. Moving into town for the three months the renovations will take, Steve and Bucky stay at the sous  chef’s cottage and Bruce and Clint stay with Simone. Every night they still have dinner together, except when Bucky is working the later shift. 

After four weeks, Steve sits with Clint and Bruce at the restaurant, while Bucky works. “You two getting  on okay?”

Clint rolls his eyes at Bruce and Steve blushes like a virgin. “Uh...yeah.”

Clint sniggers at that. “I’ll say. That blush gives everything away, young man.”

Steve barks out a laugh, drawing the attention of the other diners. “You two are assholes.”

“Yes, but you love us anyway.” Steve nods while taking another bite.

“I do.” He stops for a minute and looks at the two men. “You two are okay with this, right?”

They look at each other, then Bruce smirks. “Are we okay with you being happy and having everything you really wanted out of life.” He taps his chin with the end of the fork. “I don’t know, Steve, I think you’re going to have to break this thing off with Bucky, so we can have you back.”

Balling up his napkin, Steve throws it at the bespeckled man. “No one ever really knew that you are a snarky son of a bitch.”

“Nope, but then again, look who I was hanging out with.” Clint snorts, remembering all the times that Tony needed to be the center of attention.

As Steve crawls in bed next to Bucky that night, running his hand over the man’s chest, he thinks about how lucky he is that things have turned out this way. “I love you,  ya know that, right?”

Bucky pulls Steve in with a hand to the back of his head, kissing him breathless. “Yeah, I got that. I love you too. Now what’s all this about?”

“I just want to be sure you know I’m in this for keeps.” Bucky drags him in and Steve ends up on top of his love.

“I like the sound of that. For keeps means forever, right?” Steve grins down at him.

“It sure as hell does.”

As they move back into the cottage, they are impressed with the work that’s been done. The main part of the house from before is now a larger kitchen and living space and off of the back of the cottage are three mini-apartments. Each having an office area, bedroom and bathroom, but the way the contractor built the new rooms means no one is sharing a bedroom wall. Steve’s art set up is still in the living room because the light is better there and there’s still a desk set up there as well for Bruce to work.

Clint stands in the kitchen, arms outstretched. “I think we can all fit in here now.”

Bucky comes in with extra groceries, grinning at the new appliances. “Not only that, but we can really spread out and do some serious cooking.”

Bruce comes in carrying his suitcase, followed by Steve and the animals. “That’s good because Clint is going to make those little cakes again this year for the holidays and Bucky promises that Christmas dinner is going to be a feast.”

Bruce’s cat comes into the kitchen and hops up on the counter, looking down at the dogs. “What the hell, Bruce! Get him off the counters.”

Clint picks the furball up, putting him on the floor. “You mister, are not allowed on the counters.”

Steve chuckles. “Like your harsh words have ever affected that animal before.”

They each go to their separate rooms to put things away and Bucky tackles Steve onto the bed. “Why don’t we see just how sound proof these walls really are?”

Steve giggles and wraps his arms around Bucky, pulling him down into a deep, thorough kiss. “That sounds like a good plan.”

Sitting up, Bucky strips off his shirt and Steve runs his hands up and over his chest, pulling him back down by the shoulders. Bucky rests his head against Steve’s neck, just breathing. “If I ever take this for granted, you have my permission to kick my ass.”

“If I ever take you for granted, you have my permission to leave me tangled in my fishing line to float away out to sea.” Bucky snorts and can’t stop laughing.

As things start to get heated again, there’s a knock on the bedroom door. “Hey, you two may want to put whatever you’re doing on hold and come out here. We have a visitor.”

The two super soldiers look confused at each other and get up to make themselves presentable again. Opening the door, they head through their office and into the main part of the house. “Bruce, what...”

They stop dead when they see Natasha standing in the living room, looking like she’s unsure of her welcome. “Hey guys.”

Clint is standing next to her, arm around her shoulder. “Nat needs a place to stay for a while.”

Everyone in the room relaxes and Nat’s shoulders settle into a more open pose. “Nat, what’s going on?”

Bruce heads to the kitchen. “I’m making tea and coffee. Clint, maybe you want to start on some lunch.”

Bucky heads after him. “I’ll help.” He kisses Steve with just a quick peck and Natasha smirks after him.

“I see things are going well, Rogers.” Steve indicates the sofa and they sit. They are silent for several long minutes when she finally looks up at the blond. “I can’t do it anymore. I still believe in the intent behind the work, but I’m too old for some of this. I’m going to end up dying on a mission and that’s not what I want my life to end up being.”

Steve leans in, putting an arm around her. “You can stay as long as you like, but if you decide to go back, we won’t go with you and this place stays our  safe haven .”

“I won’t decide to go back.” She sighs. “I’m tired, Steve, and this is the only safe place I know for an ex-spy to not have to be a spy.”

Natasha’s arrival does change things in the house. She’s talented in many areas, but being domestic isn’t one of them. For the first few months she shares a room with Clint because they’ve known each other the longest. But there’s a definite shift in the living dynamic just after Thanksgiving. They’ve eaten their fill of dinner and Bucky and Steve go to clean up. They watch from the window how Natasha sits on the beach with Bruce and they talk quietly.

They finish in the kitchen and go to find Clint. He’s in his office, going over plans for the next class of recruits. Steve knocks lightly on the door and Clint looks up. “Hey, everything put away?”

“Yeah, but we wanted to talk to you.” He nods and Steve pulls Bucky over to the small loveseat in the corner. “There seems to be something going on between Nat and Bruce and we were just worried...”

Clint holds up his hand. He leans back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling. “Guys, I found my heart once and when you find that, nothing that comes after compares.” Taking a deep breath, he looks back over at the two men. “I know you’ll understand this, both of you, but Laura was it for me. She was everything and the kids were an extension of the love we shared with each other. Nat has never been anything more than a friend. If she and Bruce can rekindle what they had all those years ago, good on them.”

Bucky looks up at his friend. “I get that. I just...” He looks over at Steve for help.

“I guess we just don’t want to be throwing something in your face that will hurt you.” Clint smiles and  it’s content in a way that makes Steve smile in return. Steve gets it. “You’re happy for us and want us to keep being happy.”

Clint stands, coming over to the sofa to hug the two men. “Damn right I do. I get to see what other people saw when they looked at me and Laura.”

Within a few weeks, Natasha belongings migrate into Bruce’s room and the house settles into a quiet, soothing home. The bonds between all members of this group become stronger and when Christmas morning rolls around, there’s a joy that is new for some, comforting for others. Clint comes out of the kitchen with a tray while everyone sits around the tree. “I have coffee for the grumpy people, tea for the doctor people,” Bruce sticks his tongue out at the archer, “and hot cocoa for the inner little girl of the master spy.”

Late that night, they build a fire in the pit on the beach and sit, listening to the waves. Bucky’s head is in Steve’s lap while the blond runs his fingers through the thick dark waves of the man he loves. The man he’s finally let himself love fully. Nat sits between Bruce’s legs, leaning into the man’s chest and Clint has a lap full of dog. 

Natasha finally breaks the silence. “I really thought you’d come back all those years ago.” At first, everyone thinks that she’s talking to Bruce, but she’s looking over at Steve. “I thought you’d go off somewhere and then come back.”

He hums, then looks down at Bucky, who looks uneasy. Steve smiles that slightly crooked smile, kisses the end of his finger and places it on Bucky’s lips. “I didn’t have anything left back there. I couldn’t go home because I didn’t have one anymore, so I came here and made a home.”

Clint looks over. “And thank god you did too because you had a lot of strays show up.”

Everyone chuckles at that. “Yeah, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Everyone that came looking, needed me as much as I needed them. I just didn’t know it at the time.”

Natasha looks around at the four men. “So, this is our life now, huh?”

Bucky chuckles. “It’s the best damn life I could ever imagine.”

“It helps that you get to have sex with Steve.” There’s a brief second when everyone looks at Bruce, disbelieving that those words just came out of his mouth, then they all start laughing.

Steve looks down into Bucky’s beautiful face, running a finger over his lips and adds his own snark. “That does help.”

There’s silence for a few minutes, then Bucky gets up, leaving Steve and the others confused. He runs into the house, coming back with Steve’s guitar. Handing it over, Bucky takes a seat behind Steve, bracketing the blonde’s body with his own. Steve leans back into the warmth that he’ll never take for granted and starts to strum a soft melody to the cadence of the ocean. 


End file.
